As a women, I’ve been dreaming of my wedding all my life. That shouldn’t come as any surprise, really! But as our planning has started there going to be things that I will have to change. Not necessarily because I want to, but more because we are not getting married in the season that I imagined. And know, that I’m willing to relent on these things. By now you’re probably wondering, is she going to tell us all the details of the wedding planning. And my answer, no. Honestly, I’m having a hard time asking for help. And I’m faced with the situation, the only women that I can really turn to here, are my mother and SIL (sister-in-law). Two people I’d rather not spend hours with.
If you have read “About Me”, or I should say, my mother. There is nothing that is going to be by my plan, but truly my mother’s. That is what I have known all my life and I just can’t fathom this wedding planning, being any different. I hear in my head, “That’s not what I had in mind for you.” And as all my happiness and joy about my life ahead starts to fade, I’m left with the overwhelming anxiety that my mother causes me.
As for my SIL, I realize that this might the opportunity to get closer to her. The debate is to make her one of my personal attendants. She too, is someone that I don’t care to spend an abundance of time with. Honestly, I don’t understand her very well. And as much as, I might have tried, it never left good feeling in me. We don’t think alike! I’m on a budget and I know exactly what that is. She is thrifty, at least she was, but she needs to shop, because she deems it necessary.
I know that there is tons of planning and there will be plenty we have to pay for. My concern is about, how much do I have to involve those that may be closest to me. Yet, I feel the farthest from. I don’t want opinions, most of all those that may contradict my own. This is my time, and my wedding, I don’t want to have to defend it anyone. Does this just make me selfish?
I don’t really think so, I’m already on the path to do as I please. This is my day and our life! I want to enjoy it, not be weighted down by the frustrations that I can control. This doesn’t mean, that I don’t realize there will be a great deal of stress. Yet, I just don’t want to add to it, because I know that’s exactly what these two will do. Not only that, but I love to plan, and I’m pretty dang good at it. We aren’t even considering hiring a wedding planner, maybe just for the “day”. But otherwise it’s all on me and I accept that!