I have just unloaded on my best friend about how my very own mother (She or Her)has been reacting to my current life situation. I’m about to get married and am moving away in a matter of a couple of months. It has been hard enough for myself, but I have no idea what my parents have been going through. I understand about the empty nest syndrome, but this is about their grown daughter, who is finally going to live her own life, far away from them.
I’m not sure there is another syndrome about children who leave the state, but that might be some of the cause. My mother’s family lives in Wisconsin, and I was as distraught about leaving them when we move to Minnesota. Yet now, I am about to leave all of them to move to Florida to be with my fiancé. Being away from the one’s you love, is hard for anyone to do. But I have accepted the fact, that I am going to have to deal with being without them, just as we did when we left Wisconsin.
The plan started New Year’s of 2016, it was that I would move to Florida, after He proposed, and once I found a job there, he would move to be with me. A plan, that She called selfish. (If you read my other posts, there would be more about that story.) Yet, we agreed on this and we were engaged while in Las Vegas, after the fountain show at the Bellagio at the beginning of this year.
My return home was greeted with much excitement, but that died quickly. That’s where my questioning comes in. What have I done wrong, I have been met the man that I love with my whole heart, which I expect my family to be overly excited and happy for our upcoming nuptials together. Yet, every time there is talk about our wedding or my moving, She is like a mute!.
Now, I don’t know what She has been like around the rest of Her family. Because, I have only heard things from the rest of people in our lives. For me and even my fiancé has noticed, She has really been cold and distant, whenever there is talk about the wedding or moving. There have been some people telling me that it’s simply because I’m not getting married in a Catholic church, and I do believe that to be true.
It is one of those things that I have disappointed Her, yet again. It is something that I’ve done for myself. And I don’t want to care about what She has to think/say. I have grown up enough to make my own decisions. That’s where it starts! My parents, as well as his, have been explained that we don’t need help, other than money, to help with our wedding. This is not the time that I need any judgement from my parents. Unfortunately, I have cast this same feeling on his parents.
This has been something that I have done all my life. I have projected and assimilation to my own life, and onto Our life. I can’t help but take my own experience of growing up and place those same expectations and judgements. Not just on to me, but my fiancé too. Not what I want to do, because I don’t feel like any of my family does. That’s what differs between my bother and I. And we are close and loving. Yet, don’t see life the same, and still have a great connection to each other.
Yet, this has been about Her questioning love for me. There is nothing she has done to prove that she loves me. The closest thing has been, this surprising last bash with the family that I am supposed to let he know about. I don’t have to plan it, it just what do I want to do with my family before I leave Minnesota. Truth is there is nothing better than the State Fair! But I’m going to invite everyone, and she doesn’t know any of that yet.
I want this to be my last “haray” and I have gone to the fair almost ever year. Minnesota has one of the best fairs in the nation! It’s hard not to want to go. So even though, I cannot go with my fiancé, because I’ll be moving that next weekend, I’ll be enjoying my last time at the Great Get Together, with my family. Not quite like we did when we move up here, but this time I will keep my eye on them. I love where I live and I’ll miss things when I move, but I’ll learn to love new things.